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The Terrible Twos

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Again, not a breast feeding story, but I can’t resist.
The Bortski pulled a fast one on me last night. He was supposed to be in bed asleep. I was doing the dishes. It’s been a struggle to get him to sleep. But he was quiet so I thought all was well. But then, I went in to check on him as I had promised, AND HE WASN’T IN HIS BED!
In fact, he wasn’t anywhere in his room. He wasn’t in the kitchen, living room or dining room. (Keep in mind we have a 2 bedroom apartment). That’s when I started to panic and shout his name. I turned on all the lights in his room. I went blazing into the bathrooms and our bedroom. STILL NO BORTSKI.
By way of background, I recently caught him trying to break out of the apartment. He was standing on the seat of his stroller and tinkering with the top bolt on the door. He said he wanted to run in the hallway. So, we have precedent here for exit attempts. And on this particular night, I realized I had forgotten to bolt the door.
I was about call the doorman and to tell him to scan the security cameras for a runaway two year old, when I heard a little squeak. Sure enough, there he was, hiding under the double stroller. He had kept quiet the whole time I was yelling for him.
If you’re on your first child, this is a glimpse of things you can look forward to. If you have an older kid, you know what I’m talking about. Certainly Loopie Chick does, since she finally had to turn to an ENT to get a walnut out of her son’s nose.
My advice…keep a good bottle of wine on hand. You never know when you’ll need it.


A



6 Responses to “The Terrible Twos”

As I was reading your post my heart started beating faster and faster. I was reliving the same thing that happened to us just about a month or so ago. Except that we heard my son scream and that’s why we went to his room. We were even checking the windows to make sure he didn’t jump (or fall) out! He was hiding under the covers of our bed with the dog. We just thought it was the 65 lb. dog. When we finally found him we didn’t know if we should laugh or cry. We all hugged the rest of the night. Glad it turned out well for you too.

i like all your stories, breastfeeding or not. keep them coming please.

Oh my goodness how scary! Glad everything turned out OK!

Great story with a happy ending! Reminds me of my stepson “C”. When he was about 2 his mom couldn’t find him. She was frantic with worry and just as she was about to call the police she got a brilliant idea. She called out “Hey C do you want a cookie?” The instant muffled response from under the bed behind a bag she hadn’t seen when she first checked there . . . “Coooookie?!” and out he scooted!
Ah the way to a man/boy/toddler’s heart! :-)

Eeek, you must have been out of your mind with worry!

Loved the story…Knowing the Bortski, I can totally picture it! How scary! I had a similar experience with “Roo” (the Bortski’s cousin) last week in the mall (I forgot about it until I read your story). The store was very crowded with clothes racks (not people) and she was out of her stroller (mistake #1 on my part!) Long story short, she was having fun hiding in the clothes hanging from the racks. Most of the time, I could see her, but at one point, I couldn’t. Had no idea where she went. Was calling her name. Nothing! My heart started racing! I was panicked. Ran for the door of the store to the mall! Didn’t see her! I was about to burst into tears when she jumped out and said, “Hi Mama! I hiding!” (Of course, this all happened in about 2 seconds…how far could she really get!) I didn’t know whether to hug her or kill her!!! (I hugged her!…and strapped her back into her stroller…kicking and screaming!)

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