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How To Breastfeed Twins

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This is a hilarious post from Kelcey at The Mama Bird Diaries blog.  She describes breastfeeding twins.  The ultimate balancing act:

Hold the first baby like a football (Studies have shown this won’t actually increase your interest in the game of football but it may increase your love of “Friday Night Lights.”)

Get the first baby latched on to your right breast.

Now pick up the second baby. Hold her like a football and get her latched on to your left breast.

Unfortunately, the first baby will have somehow come off your right breast. Get that baby latched on again. Of course, now the second baby has come off. This pattern will continue for a few minutes. Finally, you will have them both latched on. You will weep with joy.

But now one of the babies has now fallen asleep after exactly one minute of nursing. Attempt to wake him. Remove some of his clothes. Blow on his head. Tickle his feet. Sing him Lady Gaga. Threaten to make him watch “Couples Retreat.”  He will become more alert after the “Couples Retreat” threat, even though you are obviously bluffing. Babies can be so gullible. Get him nursing again.  Click here for more.

3 Responses to “How To Breastfeed Twins”

Very funny. I imagine if you have twins, a sense of humor is a requirement.

I have a friend with 20 month old twins. She is trying to gradually wean them with no luck. They will eat only a VERY restricted diet. She is pregnant with # 3 and is suffering terrible morning sickness. Any advice?

Without knowing your friend’s whole story, I would say that this is something she should really discuss with her OB and perhaps a lactation consultant. The site may also be able to point her in the right direction. This page can be a starting point. She can also put other terms in the search tool bar.

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