This is a hilarious post from Kelcey at The Mama Bird Diaries blog. She describes breastfeeding twins. The ultimate balancing act:
Hold the first baby like a football (Studies have shown this won’t actually increase your interest in the game of football but it may increase your love of “Friday Night Lights.”)
Get the first baby latched on to your right breast.
Now pick up the second baby. Hold her like a football and get her latched on to your left breast.
Unfortunately, the first baby will have somehow come off your right breast. Get that baby latched on again. Of course, now the second baby has come off. This pattern will continue for a few minutes. Finally, you will have them both latched on. You will weep with joy.
But now one of the babies has now fallen asleep after exactly one minute of nursing. Attempt to wake him. Remove some of his clothes. Blow on his head. Tickle his feet. Sing him Lady Gaga. Threaten to make him watch “Couples Retreat.” He will become more alert after the “Couples Retreat” threat, even though you are obviously bluffing. Babies can be so gullible. Get him nursing again. Click here for more.