Mama Knows Breast




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Breastfeeding Quotes

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Pretty much everyone has something to say about breasts. We all know what “locker room” talk sounds like. Women also have plenty to gab about..”Man, this bra is strangling me.” Or how about this scene from the movie “Sixteen Candles”…(I found this quote on Imdb.com)
Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she’s gotten her boobies.
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha.
Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY.
[reaches to cup them]
Grandma Helen: [cut to:]
Samantha: I can’t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
And it seems our little kiddies get in on all the booby talk too. In this month’s Breastfeeding Blogger’s Carnival, we’re writing about the theme, “The Things They Say.” I’ve written here before about some of the things my two year old, The Bortski, has said about breastfeeding, so I’ll give you a little re-cap.
At one time, The Bortski intimated he wanted to breastfeed again, alongside his baby brother.
Another time, The Bortski had this to say about my bra.
But here’s my all time favorite post, a compilation of some of the Bortski’s greatest hits:
December 12, 2006
The Bortski (27 months) seems to have a new found interest in my breasts. His fascination is different from that of The Bear (8 months). And it’s certainly different from that of his father (444 months). It seems, purely and simply, that he has taken a scientific approach to my chest. Here are a few scenes from the theater of the absurd here in our apartment.
SCENE 1:
I am rushing to get dressed. We have a birthday party to get to on the other side of the city and it’s raining. Dada is changing The Bear’s diaper. I have to corral the Bortski to change his diaper. I’m half dressed. Can’t put on my clothes until the last possible moment in case of sweating, baby spit up, and misfired pee. The Bortski runs into the room and runs out while making this pronouncement:
Bortski: “Mommy, I found your boobies.”
Dada: (from the other room) “How’d they look?”
Bortski: “Pretty.”
Me: (stunned silence).
Dada: “Did you hear that? I think you’ve got your quote of the week.”
SCENE 2:
The Bortski: “Mama, can I touch your boobies?”
Me: “Um, ok.”
The Bortski: “Ok.”
Thankfully, he turns to run away and does a flying leap, head first onto the sofa. “Super Bortski!”
SCENE 3:
The Bortski has figured out how to open the drawers on our dresser. This requires a bit of skill since there aren’t any handles. He reaches into one and pulls out Dada’s jock strap.
Bortski: “Mommy, I found the thing that holds your boobies.”
Me: “Oh, thanks so much. Can I have that, sweetie? Thanks!”
SCENE 4:
Bortski: “Mommy, your nipples are next to your boobies.”
Me: “Yes, that’s right.”
Bortski: “I have nipples.”
Me: “Yes, you do.”
Borstki: “I don’t have boobies.”
SCENE 5:
I’m changing The Bortski’s diaper. He reaches down to touch himself.
Bortski: “What’s in my diaper?”
Me: “That’s your penis.”
Bortski: “It’s on me. Like your boobies on you.”
Me: “Um, yes, that’s right.”
SCENE 6:
Bortski: “Mommy, what’s your Boobies name is?”
Me: “They don’t really have a name.”
Bortski: “Call them Mr. Booby.”
So there you have it. A toddler’s booby fixation. As for the other blogger’s here’s what they have to say for this Carnival:
Breastfeeding123
The Lactivist
The Motherwear Blog
Breastfeeding Mums
Down With the Kids
Rattling The Kettle
Musings of A Crunchy Domestic Goddess
Nurturing Notes

Breast Feeding Quotes

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The Bortski (27 months) seems to have a new found interest in my breasts. His fascination is different from that of The Bear (8 months). And it’s certainly different from that of his father (444 months). It seems, purely and simply, that he has taken a scientific approach to my chest. Here are a few scenes from the theater of the absurd here in our apartment.
SCENE 1:
I am rushing to get dressed. We have a birthday party to get to on the other side of the city and it’s raining. Dada is changing The Bear’s diaper. I have to corral the Bortski to change his diaper. I’m half dressed. Can’t put on my clothes until the last possible moment in case of sweating, baby spit up, and misfired pee. The Bortski runs into the room and runs out while making this pronouncement:
Bortski: “Mommy, I found your boobies.”
Dada: (from the other room) “How’d they look?”
Bortski: “Pretty.”
Me: (stunned silence).
Dada: “Did you hear that? I think you’ve got your quote of the week.”
SCENE 2:
The Bortski: “Mama, can I touch your boobies?”
Me: “Um, ok.”
The Bortski: “Ok.”
Thankfully, he turns to run away and does a flying leap, head first onto the sofa. “Super Bortski!”
SCENE 3:
The Bortski has figured out how to open the drawers on our dresser. This requires a bit of skill since there aren’t any handles. He reaches into one and pulls out Dada’s jock strap.
Bortski: “Mommy, I found the thing that holds your boobies.”
Me: “Oh, thanks so much. Can I have that, sweetie? Thanks!”
SCENE 4:
Bortski: “Mommy, your nipples are next to your boobies.”
Me: “Yes, that’s right.”
Bortski: “I have nipples.”
Me: “Yes, you do.”
Borstki: “I don’t have boobies.”
SCENE 5:
I’m changing The Bortski’s diaper. He reaches down to touch himself.
Bortski: “What’s in my diaper?”
Me: “That’s your penis.”
Bortski: “It’s on me. Like your boobies on you.”
Me: “Um, yes, that’s right.”
SCENE 6:
Bortski: “Mommy, what’s your Boobies name is?”
Me: “They don’t really have a name.”
Bortski: “Call them Mr. Booby.”
Do your kids have any zingers you’d like to share? Do tell.
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Quote of the Day

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Once again…out of the mouths of babes…
This one is courtesy of our two year old, The Bortski. We had this conversation while the baby, The Bear, was busy nursing:
“Mammee, the baby has boobies.” (translation: “Mom, the baby breastfeeds.”)
“Yes, that’s right. Do you still have boobies?”
“Not yehhht,” he said with authority and a sly smile.

Breast Feeding Quote of The Day

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Here’s another feature I’m starting…my favorite breast feeding quote of the day.
This week, it’s courtesy of our two year old, The Bortski.
Let me set the scene: I’m trying to eke out a few more minutes in bed with my eyes closed. The Bortski appears at the side of the bed, his head level with mine. He picks my “over the shoulder boulder holder” (ie. my nursing bra) off the floor, holds it up over his head and says, “Mommy, put your boobies away.”
As they say…out of the mouths of babes…